Gym-gym-cheeree

Another delay as I plan to manage to mean to think of something to write. I visited a local gym, finally, and swaggered in with a big grin loudly saying, "Okay, fellahs, tell me why this should be the 20th gym I join!" At least I got a chuckle from the steriod junkies at the front desk. The blustery one swung himself out from behind the counter and shook my hand, introduced the other guy (his physical clone but a shy, shrinking violet) and launched into his screed. He asked me to name the other 19 fitness centers to which I have belonged, and stopped me after the FOUR I've joined since landing in this state 12 years ago. I haven't done it for more than three years now, I told him, and I murmured "I used to be very thin," and he actually drew a breath and said, "Really??" But his patter was otherwise pretty good, and the gym cost is reasonable. It's huge, in a old supermarket, and very well-appointed. Still, I would have to drive past all four of my previous gyms to get there. I think there are seven traffic lights. I can already hear myself making excuses.

I smiled and looked enthusiastic and drove to the other place. That was in the opposite direction, in the middle of nowhere, closer to my house and in a brand new building. It's a 24/7 gym; they give you a keycard and you let yourself in, and if you have a heart attack at 3 AM your body just lies there as the treadmill gradually bumps your skull up and down and rips out all your hair. The staff is only there 4 days a week, and this wasn't one of the days.

It took another week before I remembered to go back on a staffed day, but I finally did and got a lackluster tour by a pretty young woman who didn't curl her lip at my bulk nor seem to work on commission. This place is tiny. My husband once had a megillionaire boss who gave us a tour of his palatial home one Christmas, (there was a strongly implied tone of  This is how I live. This is how you shall never live) and he had more equipment in his basement than this gym has. But honestly, I'm only going to be walking on the treadmill for a long, long time. They had three of those and three ellipticals, too.

The smaller gym charges more monthly but they don't charge anything upfront. The larger gym doesn't require a commitment, but they charge an annual fee, payable every January, even if you join in December. The larger gym offers two different memberships; one includes a free session with a personal trainer, and other includes four sessions. The smaller gym doesn't do the PT thing.  Neither one offers much in the way of classes, but I have never been drawn to group activity, either. 20 years ago, the idea of slipping out of the house and getting a workout at 2 AM would have been as appealing as baby bunnies delivering a cheesecake, but realistically I can't see myself having a nice workout in the pre-dawn. Not anymore.

And suddenly the point is moot. At the end of this week I promised Big Daughter to take her and her 3 children the visit Little Daughter at the beach. We'll be gone only 6 days, but a week after our return I'm helping Big Daughter move out of state. Driving the truck while she drives the minivan, dontcha know. I'll be gone another week and home after Halloween.

Steroids #1 called my cell and left enthusiastic messages every day for a week, offering more and more enticement and one-time-only deals. Gym #2 has my number but has never called. I'm not sure which approach I find more attractive. In any case, I shall have to wait until November to make a decision. I guess I could pop in an exercise DVD or something in the meantime. I mean, I guess I could....